Make Up??

i just can't stop thinking about it.. gimana nggak si dudul cuma bilang dia ada acara KK which is makanya dia ga bisa.. in Sunday?? I don't know if this is a mock up or she was very happy to be with.. th fact that she has no intention to celebrating with me..
what i'm very dissapointed is she didn't even say sorry.. she didn't even try to make it up. i just can't be more disappointed as she eventually just do me like that.. apa saya harus yang mulai lebih dulu??

bahkan ketika dia bilang kalo dia dateng, saya harus janji ga akan ganggu dia lagi.. what the?? is it really that conditional?? i'm not really happy to begin with, the fact is "eventually" she didn't even want to try to make it up so why should i even bother.. yah kalo memang harus conditional seperti itu, dan kenyataannya dia sendiri ga bisa, saya sih rela-rela aja.. masi ada taon depan juga koq dul.. taon depannya lagi, lagi dan lagi. yah life's short, but i can wait.. though not forever, coz i knew i'd die before u.
masalah apa saya ga akan ganggu dia lagi kan sebenernya di dia sendiri, selama dia masih aja merasa ini sebuah beban.. sebuah gangguan.. it will just never end..I just recall, the time when i just want to share my movie, tapi dia merasa ada udang di balik bakwan.. kalo memang saya memilih dia untuk sharing, itu karena saya merasa dia teman saya, teman yang saya mau dapat menikmati apa yang saya telah dapat dari film itu.. if u want to look another further, i do share that movie to other person.. and also without udang dibalik bakwan.. so there's no reason for her to even took it as special treatment. apalagi dul?? karena saya ga bagi itu ke cewe? cuma ama cowo? how gross u are to always think like that.
oowh.. saya sendiri juga sebenernya bingung.. apalagi coba yang kurang. saya sudah cukup lama juga menekankan soal bday saya ama dia. that i want her to be there no matter what happens. ya maksud no matter what happens ini tentunya kalo sekarang dia udah ama si boy juga.. tapi memang she just never listen. maybe saya selalu banyak maunya bagi dia.. selalu ga pernah puas ama dia. saya memang ga sepinter dia yang pada akhirnya selalu bisa membuat excuses..and the clever thing is dia selalu bisa memutarbalikkan apa yang memang dia ga bisa menjadi ga mau pada akhirnya.. saya juga tau bukan dia yang ga mau kalah, tapi dia ga bisa kalo ga menang.. padahal ini sama sekali bukan masalah menang atau kalah, mau apa nggak.. happiness isn't abut winning or losing, it's priceless dul.. why don't u try to give me that one for the last time.. i just want to try to make it up on that day, at least i thought it would be a one fine day for me.. to u also for some point. it just won't even scratch. and if u really thought u will always be with him til the very end of time, there's nothing even to worry.